


What are these types of situations and what do

by pepperfield



Category: Homestuck
Genre: @Horse_ebooks, Doomed Timelines, Drabble Collection, F/F, Family, Gen, Parenthood, Poor Life Choices, Rare Pairings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-04-11
Updated: 2013-04-13
Packaged: 2017-12-08 03:42:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,658
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/756637
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pepperfield/pseuds/pepperfield
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of drabbles which use @Horse_ebooks tweets as prompts. Hopefully not as goofy as it sounds, but I can't make any promises.</p><p>1. Guardian edition<br/>2. Femslash edition<br/>3. Doomed timelines edition</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. guardian edition

**Author's Note:**

> Each title is an actual tweet, and other character and pairing tags will be added when they appear.

**Win an award Do something for a famous person Lose money Live in a strange house Fight city**  
  
It's not that fame disagrees with you. Who doesn't dream of taking the industry by storm and making it big? But it's lonely at the top of a kingdom destined to crumble. And a little boring too. Sure, you've got movies to make and a message to spread, but the real battle hasn't begun yet. Maybe it's good that this card house is about to collapse. You've been itching for a fight. There's a whole refrigerator of swords waiting to be used in your sleek penthouse apartment.  
  
Your phone chimes with a text. Lalonde.  
  
 _Time to start the party, motherfucker_.

 

 

 **you ll soon be playing your own favorite songs on the piano.**  
  
Your hands are too small to bridge the space between the keys you want, so Dad helps you. Then you forget which one is middle C, because it's all just an endless line of black on white on white on black, like a dumb zebra staircase, so you decide to forego structure completely and just smash your hand down. All you get is ugly, cranky sounds, so it's time to fall back on that old favorite: the full range glissando. You bow at the end of your performance like Dad, and with a smile he says, "I'm so proud, son."

 

 

 **a man leaves his house to go**  
  
Looking out your window, you can see that your house has arrived in a strange, dead land, before you descend into the darkness. A brief scan of the house confirms that Jane has embarked on her quest, and while you know your daughter is as smart and strong as they come, a father can't help but worry. After a struggle against aggressively autokinetic furniture, you manage to escape from your house. As you proceed to explore this potentially dangerous new world, you drop your wallet along your way for Jane to find. She's done more than enough to deserve it.

 

 

 **Your dog is not afraid of altitude at all! Your dog is a real acrobat as well as rock climber! Your dog is able to climb craggy rocks!**  
  
His policy is usually to shoot first and ask questions later, but the scrappy little fellow bears an awfully heavy resemblance to faithful old Halley, so he holds off, especially when the pup takes a fast liking to Jade. As it turns out, a dog that can warp space-time has its uses, so Harley slaps a name on the critter and trains him to be Jade's personal sitter, which is a job the dog picks up immediately. Harley knows that in his absence Bec will watch dutifully as their sunshine girl grows up. A good dog is the best co-parent.

 

 

 **I have always loved roses but did not always**  
  
You didn't choose to be a mother. How could you, when you know what danger and suffering awaits your child? But when the meteor falls, your instinct brings her straight to your arms. That's when you realize that it doesn't matter if you don't want to play by the universe's rules; everything that must come to pass shall do so regardless of your cooperation. But the cosmic forces can't tell you how to raise your daughter, so you're going to give her everything she could ever want. She'll be as happy as can be.  
  
But first you need a drink.


	2. femslash edition

**Scuba diving is one way to explore this fascinating universe.**  
  
Even with the flippers on, Aradia finds it difficult to swim; she's unaccustomed to fighting the heavy resistance compressing her body. So when Feferi offers her hand, she gladly takes it. Downward they spiral, past snowy fish and ragged stones, around the thin, ornate lace of coral growing out from the seaweed, down until they can touch the sun-mottled sand. Feferi plucks a shard of a polished shell out from the floor, and a cloud of tiny fish ripple outward from behind it. She presses the memento into Aradia's palm, before pulling her onward. There's so much more to see.

 

 

**Dots, Underwater Theme, Vampire, War Warrior, Witch and Zebra!**  
  
"These colors are too dark for you," Kanaya tuts.  
  
"Really? But I like the witch costume!"  
  
"Perhaps a witch who wears dots? This dress would be much cuter. Ah, or look, you could be a mermaid."  
  
"Well, that is a really pretty tail, but then we wouldn't match!"  
  
"Match?"  
  
"You know, our couple's costume, silly." Jade reaches out to ruffle Kanaya's cape. "You're a vampire, and I'm your cool witchy girlfriend! We kidnap people and use them to stay immortal. If I were a mermaid, we'd never be able to see each other!"  
  
"Oh. Well, a witch it is, then."

 

 

**spinning on a sheet of ice it all makes sense**  
  
"No, Serk, you can't make me do this. Water ain't for standin' on."  
  
"Please, Meenah, trust me. I won't let you fall."  
  
Aranea takes Meenah's mittened hands, squeezing reassuringly, before tugging her forward.  
  
"Now, just hold on and look me in the eye, okay?"  
  
Meenah swallows but doesn't break her gaze as Aranea skates backwards slowly. Snowflakes dot Aranea's hair and she has her pretty blue coat on and it matches her eyes, and Meenah is briefly horribly overwhelmed by how cute she is, so instead she concentrates on stepping forward and suddenly she's  _gliding_  and everything is fucking glorious.

 

 

**let you steal my secrets, let me paint the picture of what they can**  
  
Nepeta finishes by drawing two dark triangles over the eyes, and Roxy grins.  
  
"Pretty much perfect."  
  
Nodding sagely, Nepeta takes her brush and scribbles a diamond over the square, then circles the whole picture. "My new pale OTP! I mean, after me and Equius, of course."  
  
Roxy wraps her arms around Nepeta's waist as they regard the updated shipping wall. "And what's your fave hearts ship?"  
  
Nepeta looks up at her through her lashes. "Isn't it pawbvious?"  
  
"You better draw it so I can be sure."  
  
"Good thing you saved the purrfect spot fur me," Nepeta says, lifting Roxy's shirt.

 

 

**Is the guest of honor adventurous, elegant, dreamy, or a country girl? Does she love music from the 70s,**  
  
"But what is she  _like_? Her hobbies? Occupation? Can't you at least give me something?"  
  
"Nope. It's like you've never heard of the concept of a blind date before, Rose. Just go and have fun!" John pulls the car to a stop outside the restaurant and Rose straightens out her hairband, fingers hooked nervously into her handbag.  
  
Inside, the maître d' leads her to a table, where a woman sits with her back to them, her dark hair coiled into a loose chignon and her sturdy arms bare in her sparkling sleeveless dress.  
  
Wait. Rose knows that dress.  
  
"Jade?"


	3. doomed timelines edition

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Aradia & Kanaya story is actually a triple drabble!

**I grew dissatisfied and went into a frenzy**  
  
When you wake, you almost instinctively lick the sopor off your fingers, but a wave of revulsion courses through you. You shove the pie away and look at your walls, defaced with slime from floor to as high as you could reach, the green symbols resounding with some new emotion inside you. This is the message you've been waiting for. All this time, you were eating sopor like a fool, when the truth was inside you all along. Your rage is exquisite.  
  
Time to visit your best motherfucking friend.  
  
In fact, you should visit all of your great friends.  
  
:o)

 

 

 **The Odds Are, You Will Destroy**  
  
You're naught more than a puddle of blood at this point, dripping violet everywhere. Feferi holds your shattered body in her arms, tears streaking her lovely face, flying as quickly as she can to the golden slab waiting for you below. It would be so easy for her to fix you, to knit your bones back together and seal up every cut and gaping wound. But you've come too far to turn back. You used to fear death as the ultimate failure. But now you know there's always hope.  
  
"Once I'm back, we'll kick their asses, Fef. Wait for me."

 

 

 **Destiny In A World Where Time And Space Do**  
  
Nine corpses.  
  
Aradia can feel it in her wires and cables. This timeline is doomed; she needs to leave. But in this body, where the blue in her veins amplifies her fury to a deafening roar, there's room in her heart for a sliver of pity to take root when she watches Kanaya lay Vriska's body gently, lovingly next to Feferi's. Feferi, who is still holding Sollux's hand. Sollux, who used to whisper the intricacies of doom to her in the dead of night.  
  
She can't leave Kanaya here alone.  
  
"We can still win."  
  
Kanaya looks up, confusion evident in her eyes. "But we can't. You know that. How can we possibly be strong enough to defeat the king? Even if we could locate Gamzee, what could the three of us do?"  
  
Nothing. Nothing would be enough. Aradia's never been a fan of temporal inevitability, but this is the crown jewel. What kind of game demands that she sacrifice all  _her_  friends for another timeline? It's bullshit. Fuck that. Fuck this whole system designed to force its players to crawl over their own corpses to win.  
  
Fuck the alpha timeline.  
  
"I'm our time player. You're our space player. We're the minimum requirement. I'll help you light the forge, and breed frogs, anything. You told me that it's in part my fault that these terrible things would happen. So I'm taking responsibility now. We're going to fix things."  
  
"But Aradia, you know that it's pointle-"  
  
" _I don't care!_  I know we'll fail, but if we're going to die anyway, why not try? What's the point in giving up? You told me once you'd help if I needed you. Well, I need you now, Kanaya. Please."  
  
Kanaya, clothed in death and doom, inevitable victim of a world beyond her control, nods.  
  
"Okay."


End file.
